2spooky4boo:

restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

(Source: sir-broccoli, via ugly)

imnotjailbait:

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

cause if i can eat ass i can deal with delicious olives

64kbps:

gamsee:

what do you mean i cant name my son dorito

because thats nacho son

(via covocal)

guy:

when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

image

(via strawberrybouncexo)

  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

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